Going Out With a Katsu
by Houkakyou
Summary: Five years ago Deidara had been given a mission of the utmost importance: infiltrate and assassinate the Akatsuki. Now, that mission has been completed...but what kind of welcome will the infamous Iwa explosions specialist receive when he comes home?


**Going Out With a Katsu**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything associated with it. Including blond androgynies.

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The bird flapped its enormous clay wings, angling its fabricated feathers to propel itself on a gentle downward slop towards the sprawling village below. Iwagakure was one of the largest of all five hidden villages, only surpassed by Konoha, and because of the high percentage of ninja in the population, it utilized a large central square for many purposes. Over seventy-five percent of the population were shinobi, and when there was a graduation, a meeting, mission assignments, or the annual 'role call', almost all of them showed up. The square could easily fit a couple thousand people, and the edges were constantly filled with the various shops, restaurants, and vendors proclaiming their wares that were native to Iwa. There was a large demand for importing a variety of foods from the more fruitful surrounding nations and an easily accommodated external demand for exporting sculpture and stonecraft. The stone surface was well-worn after years and millions of feet treading their daily paths across it and no trace of the original paint that had encircled the center remained.

The square was where his journey culminated; the beginning of the end of this horrendous but successful mission.

-

During the Third Great Ninja War, Iwa and its allies had been up against Konoha and theirs. Once it had been declared over and the atrocities and bloody battles halted, the peace negotiations that ensued had created a fragile and tenuous truce between the two shinobi nations. Publicly, it was declared a simple neutrality concerning the opposite player, so to speak, and it had been a great success, though many citizens of both nations still held enmity against each other for what had occurred. But privately, there had been another factor to the treaty, something confidential to the highest degree, an amendment concerning espionage and the burgeoning criminal orginization called 'Akatsuki'.

As a sign of trust toward the other village, both were required to send one of their most powerful jounin or ANBU undercover within the next twenty years to become a successful part of the organization and infiltrate it to its highest level so that when the two villages were ready to take it down, they could begin from the inside and subtly assassinate partners before continuing on to the rest of the members and subordinates.

The two villages waited for their opportune moments; the crucial time in which they could pull off defecting two skilled nins without being suspected of foul play. Konoha waited eight years and Iwa bid their time until the eleventh, but they sent their shinobi out before the time limit was up.

Konoha chose its most powerful Uchiha, the heir to the clan bearing the fearful Sharingan – at the same time as using that nin to prevent a coup d'etat and giving him a reason to defect in the first place – Itachi.

Iwa chose its most powerful and radical jounin, somebody that would only need a small personality tweak and a few well-staged murders in a particular style to be banished and turn missing-nin – Deidara.

And when they were ready, they were given their missions confidentially and sent on their way, trailing similar paths of death and destruction and then skillfully and subtly erasing these paths to stop trackers – for if one village failed, the other would declare neutrality over. Everything rode on these nins – the one reason why the Kages agreed to send their best and brightest on an SS-class mission that could turn suicide mission at any point along the road.

Itachi had been pinpointed by Madara even before the massacre had occurred, and so had been snatched up the night he had departed the village, dripping blood and tears. But he had been informed of his veritable partner's name and reputation beforehand, as had Deidara of Itachi's. So after a good number of months in which he gained their trust as a secure and successful murderer, Itachi called up a memory in Pein of rumors of a skilled missing-nin who had the ungainly tendency to make things explode – especially people. Deciding that this Iwa teen had potential, the leader sent Itachi, Sasori, and Kisame out on a mission to retrieve him and force him to join Akatsuki at all costs except death.

It was successful. Deidara knew exactly how much fight to put into his protests and precisely when to stop and give in to the elder Uchiha.

From that point on, Deidara and Itachi worked, each in their own ways, to integrate themselves into the upper echelons of the orginazation and become trusted by Pein. So when the orders came from their respective villages to begin the last stage of their years-long assignment, they gladly complied and began destroying the organization from the inside.

It was discovered that Pein was in all actuality being guided by Itachi's supposed 'teacher', Madara Uchiha, and that the man had been masquerading as Tobi during his entire stint at Akatsuki. Deidara was more than a little creeped out by that prospect, but he got over it very quickly after Madara had gone for his neck.

By that time, Itachi had already disposed of Kisame, Konan, and Zetsu and was all ready to team up with his counterpart to destroy both Pein and Madara in one blow. Deidara distracted the two with legions of detonation-clay bugs while Itachi's Amaterasu homed in on their bodies. It was enough to kill Pein and his other selves, but Madara needed both Garuda and Susano'ou to be brought out.

Combining attacks, the two almost-teammates discovered that Itachi's ghost-form could spear the old Uchiha and cause his sharingan teleportation jutsu to cease to function – and then Garuda could send the man to his death, with Itachi and Deidara clear out of the way, of course.

After setting a few nicely-made bombs, courtesy of Deidara, in key structurally weak points throughout the hideout, the two nin detonated C-2 and erased all evidence and salvageable items to complete their mission. Escorting each other to the border of Ame and Kusa, the two went off their own separate ways to make the days-long journey back to their villages for the first time in years.

-

As the bird descended, coming in sight of the citizens, whispers and gasps ran through the crows. On any given day at least a third of the population of the Village Hidden in the Rocks was in the square for grocieries, supplies, or meetings, but to Deidara it seemed like there were more people than he'd seen in years. Which was true, now that he thought about it.

Now within range of his chosen landing spot in the center of the square, he watched as the Tsuchikage gave a yell telling the people to stay calm and that this was completely expected. _"Now clear a space already!"_

Deidara grinned at the old man's jovial ferocity. He'd missed that more than anything. The younger masses might recall him as the murderous bomber that delighted in watching people go to pieces, but the older remembered him as the youngster that would always get into the most raucous shouting matches with their Kage, laughing the entire time.

Bracing himself for the landing and unsurprised with the touchdown was as soft as usual, Deidara planted his hands on the bird's wing and dismounted gracefully. Giving the crowds around him a cursory glance, he started toward the cleared path leading to his Kage and the crowds remained stone-still, mothers shielding their children and friends whispering to friends tales of his explosive reputation.

Halfway down the path, he began unsnapping his Akatsuki cloak, stained with blood as it was, and then ripped it off and bundled it in his arms to remind himself to burn it later. He'd gotten far too used to wearing it in the past few years, it being the standard uniform for all higher members and all. Sighing and rolling his eyes, he listened to the fresh wave of gasps as ninja and civilians alike noticed his arms. Stitched and more than a little mutilated, they were a sight, but he'd become used to them – as long as they worked, he didn't care what they looked like.

Finally in front of the Tsuchikage, Deidara knelt down on the worn stone surface of the square with one hand on the ground and the other sandwiched between knee and chest. Steeling himself for the fateful words that he'd been waiting to say since the day he had originally set out on his mission assignment from hell, he spoke loud and clear.

"Mission successful, Tsuchikage-sama. The Akatsuki have been obliterated."

The little old man grinned and put his hand on the blonde's head, pushing his fingers through the long hair and yanking off the red band that held his ponytail, watching the visage of the nineteen-year-old become much closer to what it had been when he'd set out at fourteen.

"Welcome back, Deidara my boy. You can finally get rid of that gay-ass hair tuft and rejoin civilization. It's not often we have to send our best ninja on a five–year-long mission with everybody hating his guts. You gonna go out with a bang?"

Deidara pushed his long hair to the side and looked up at the grandfatherly old man gratefully. "That's what art is for, yeah!"

Turning around and flicking a hand, he forced the huge bird up and flying again, sending it as high as he could and then giving a little whisper and a big smirk.

"_Katsu_!"

Fireworks rained brightly down on Iwa, congratulating a blond-haired jounin on a job well done and the welcome home he'd always wanted to a stunned people that would come to accept him once again.

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A/N: Whew! Four pages of Deidara's homecoming – I'm proud of myself! If you have a problem with the times or the dates, go ahead and tell me and I'll either fix it or tell you exactly why you're wrong. :) I positioned the dates for the Third Great Ninja War all by Kakashi's team's battle at Kannabi Bridge – I've heard from multiple sources that that particular battle is what turned the tides in Konoha's favor, so I assumed the battle had gone on for only another two years at most (to when Kakashi was fourteen, Itachi was six, and Deidara was three).

Please review! I've only ever written Deidara before once (and that doesn't count since he spoke like, two lines), so feel free to tell me if I did it wrong or ooc.


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